That simple. I simply cannot be separated from God. As a Christian I am secure in that knowledge and secure in His arms.
Usually (not always) I read daily from my Bible-In-A-Year. That way I make it through the whole Bible every single year. Well, I am not perfect, never have been never will be.
I signed up for a free Verse Of The Day from BibleGateway. Every single day, I receive a Bible verse in my email inbox. On days that I have fallen short and don’t get all of my daily reading in, I make sure I locate this in my inbox.
Today was an exceptional day. The Lord provided me with exactly what I needed to get caught up with two days of my Bible-In-A-Year reading AND I desired more. More of the Lord. More of God’s plans. More tender loving on those He has chosen to be His children.
My eyes landed on the daily verse and I just had to open it. I had to spend more time in that connection with the Lord. He blessed my socks off…
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~ Romans 8:38-39 NIV
If I tell you the details to why that is so meaningful to me, I will be headed down the gossip alley where I should not be.
Lord, keep me on your specific path, on the straight and narrow.
Okay, so there I was, faced with death head on. Chronic illness had taken its toll on my body and mind. But not my soul. God securely had my soul.
This just happened two years ago so it is still fresh. The impact of the moment of facing death was transforming. Nothing else mattered except my relationship with Christ. I could feel Him there and I certainly felt His love stronger than ever. So what would I do with the moment at hand?
I would trust Him. I would accept all that love that was more powerful and more significant than all the misery that had gotten me to that moment at hand. Whatever God had already determined for my life was perfectly acceptable to me. On one hand, I was done fighting this intense battle and I welcomed eternal life through physical death. On the other hand, NOTHING about my thinking believed this was the end of my life on earth.
The facts were overwhelming. 100% heart blockage. All organs and systems shut down to 1-2% function. I already had that greenish tint of death to me. Some called it “ashen” who saw me at the time. Everything about my body screamed death.
Everything about my soul said life.
Lord, hold me together while this gets sorted. Breathe life into me, if that is your will.
I clearly remember my thoughts at the time. They were all in slow motion and they were all focused on the life of Jesus. Not Jesus’ life here on earth. I mean the fact that He still lives.
Life can mean death as a Christian. Jesus died for our sins. He also rose and He is alive and well. He lives and He certainly was right there with me as my body was dying. I was clearly focused on life but did not have a clue how this event would turn out. Life in Christ has many meanings. I was okay with God’s will even though I did not know at the time what that was.
In slow motion, I relayed information to the vascular scientist who saved my life on the spot. She too is a Christian. She too remained supernaturally calm and spoke slowly with me to keep me conscious and keep me relaying info she needed.
Nothing, I mean NOTHING could separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. However it was going to turn out, I could not be separated. I remember that intensely powerful peaceful day and being perfectly secure in His love, no matter how it turned out.
That was the fun part of a really difficult day. It did not matter how it turned out, seriously. I was so secure in the events at hand, I was peaceful. Floating my way on that peaceful cloud of Christ, I also did not think my life was over, regardless of the obvious deadly facts.
I chose to fight by remaining peaceful with Jesus at my side to walk me through whatever was going to happen. I had to very methodically prioritize information while I was struggling to remain conscious. During 100% heart blockage, I was given the power to prioritize and convey. During the crisis, the vascular scientist was given the healing powers to save my life on the spot. She did it with no surgery, we were not in a hospital. It was not yet my time to go home.
What did that event do for me and my relationship with Christ as I sit here two years later? Everything. That eternal security is more engrained in me than ever.
No matter who abandons us during chronic illness, even when it is EVERYONE literally, Jesus is right there. He does not leave us. No matter what Jesus Christ is our savior. There is nothing that can separate that love, that bond, that relationship that is awesome beyond words.
Back to the Verse-Of-The-Day…
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~ Romans 8:38-39 NIV
Today I did not read that in context, I only read those exact words. The last two years of my life immediately flooded my emotions.
I can choose to be bitter for… well… let’s just say stuff. Or I can can see it through the eyes of Christ. No matter what others see, Jesus loves me. No matter what others do, or don’t do, I will not be separated from Jesus Christ. No matter what others think of my value, the Lord Almighty deems me worthy of His love.
Two years later and I still remain confident. Someone recently used the word “confident” to describe me. My very first thought was, thank goodness the word was not arrogant. The last 7 years of my life has hopefully humbled the arrogance and pride right out of me.
My confidence is not in myself. My confidence is in Jesus. Because He lives, I have have confidence that cannot be shaken. I like carrying that confidence with me at all times, it is carrying my faith in God with me.
Now that it has been two years since that deathly event that I lived through, I choose to keep moving forward with the mighty strength and confidence I have been given. It will be 2 years to the day on April 12th. I will celebrate life. Celebrate what was handed to me on a silver platter, another chance at wellness and making a productive meaningful life.
I will never forget the days surrounding that event. I will never forget the heartaches surrounding the whole ordeal, but I will forgive. It is a choice and I will choose to forgive. I will choose to serve in whatever capacity I am assigned by God. I will choose to see opportunities that I might not have seen before. I will accept the right opportunities and run with them, because God himself gave them to me, gave me the wellness to be in this position and gave me the heart to love Him, to love others and keep moving forward by His power, not mine.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~ Romans 8:38-39 NIV
So, am I confident or am I convinced? My hope is that when people see my confidence, they are actually seeing that I am all in, totally and completely convinced in my Lord and Savior.
Thank you Lord, you alone have allowed chronic illness to grow me up and pull me in closer to you. Thank you for your loving hand of grace and mercy that fills my life. May my life glorify you because everything is all about you. May I be equipped to serve and to serve well.
Happy Confidence Anniversary to me!!!! I’m 6 weeks early but I am going to be celebrating this one for the rest of my life.
May all of you see the good that comes from the chronic illness journey. By no means am I saying that God gave us illness so that we would have these experiences. But He does allow chronic illness. Illness is a tremendous part of our current culture. Be one who embraces it and squeezes all the good that God put in it for you and for His glory.