Day 7: I am not a victim….

Day 7: 1 May 2018

Introduction: Thanksgiving, Praise and Worship exercise –

I could not hear all the words she sang so I grabbed the lyrics.

SONG: I Am No Victim (LIVE) – Kristene Dimarco

I Am No Victim

Written by Kristene DiMarco, Seth Mosley, and Tony Brown

© 2017 Bethel Music Publishing

I am no victim 

I live with a vision 

I’m covered by the force of love 

Covered in my Savior’s blood 

I am no orphan 

I’m not a poor man 

The Kingdom’s now become my own 

And with the King I’ve found a home  

He’s not just reviving 

Not simply restoring 

Greater things have yet to come 

He is my Father 

I do not wonder 

If His plans for me are good 

If He’ll come through like He should

‘Cause He is provision 

And enough wisdom 

To usher in my brightest days 

To turn my mourning into praise 

I am who He says I am 

He is who He says He is 

I’m defined by all His promises 

Shaped by every word He says

Step 1: Gather

This is always my favorite step in this daily exercise because I get to gather up all of my scattered thoughts. Thoughts race through my mind faster than the speed of light. They don’t have to make sense in this exact moment. I am simply gathering up the thoughts to get to a place where I can hear the Holy Spirit tell me what is truly worth reflecting on and what is simply junk I have to let go.

I love this 21-Day Brain Detox. It accommodates my scattered thoughts and wild emotions. It brings it all together, every single day, keeping me focused on Christ.

I have never heard this song before, so I had to concentrate to get the words inside of me. Looked up the lyrics to help me. Reading the lyrics while listening to the song helped me to move past the physical limitations of my brain and hear the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord.

This new song, to me, gave me the words to express the latest transition. I fully feel like I am not a victim but sometimes I hear words come out of my mouth that are of a victim mentality. This is the time of my life that I fully match my heart to my actions. Match my intent to my every action.

I have spent years moving away from victimization. This time is different. Laying on a table being medically dead carries with it some additional responsibility as I live out my life now. Medically speaking there is no reason, no rationale, no logic, no science that can explain me being dead, but not.

God breathed the breath of life I required to survive this one. My physical body was not doing it on ANY level. The faith of the doctor allowed for God to work through her immediately. She did not panic, she did not have a moment of pause, she trusted herself, through her God given ability, to save my life.

So, where in tarnation could I get a thought that I am a victim? I am greatly blessed beyond what people will ever believe. My story will be dismissed in a heartbeat because it is not medically possible. God is all about miracles, why would I let this opportunity slip into victimization?

Through all of the abuse, the abandonment, the diseases I have endured, I have been blessed greatly through every round of everything. I will continue to write letters to those who have placed this on me, letters of thanks. Gratitude for propelling me into who I am today.

Abandonment issues include a hint of victimization attitude. Never, ever, have I thought about it that way before. When I soulfully read the words to this song, it is as clear as day. When I turn to you, Lord, I feel your love, not abandonment or victimization. As a human, I have made my thoughts so much harder than they need to be.

You alone, Lord, have the ability to turn my mourning into praise. I have not yet grieved the loss of my children. Physically it is not even a possibility. My physical heart and vascular system does not allow me to have the ability to get upset right now. The risk is too high to consider it. The risk is so high that you have placed upon me the physical limitations to stop something so normal, like the grieving process.

You have your sovereign reasons. I will wait for you to show me when it is time to grieve. I so clearly understand that now is a time of celebration for MY life. I don’t deserve to be alive, I have done nothing to have earned this exquisite gift. You gave it to me on a silver platter. Time to clearly focus on the gift, not the other yuck and muck.

In time, you will show me how to turn my mourning into praise for the loss in my life. For today, I just have to let that go.

Step 2: Focused Reflection

I want to say that FOCUS right now is an impossible word. You have already done the impossible by breathing life back into me. So, here I am to trust you for focus.

I need to focus on today’s tasks at hand. There is SO much work to do just simply in caring for my physical needs through this. While I seek you in every moment of the day, you will provide focus for my physcial needs. You will wipe away the victimization that leads me to the crushing feelings of abandonment, so I can focus on the tasks at hand today.

You do not simply provide, YOU are provision!!!

Step 3: Journal

My toxic thought is the fear of more abandonment and the fear that past abandonment will engulf me in the pain. I am no victim. Abandonment does not exist when my focus is on Jesus. Lord, you have provided your wisdom and your eternal love to remove me from the words abandonment and victim.

Step 4: Revisit

Holy Spirit, show me how and what to change.

Basic logic: You removed all logic to give me life on 4/13/2018. Therefore, now that you have given me life, I am provided opportunity to use my basic human logic. Through removing logic, you have given me new eyes to see that I have been covered in your love and care, which is the farthest thing from abandonment and victimization.

Step 5: Active Reach

Decision:

I will focus on you, your love, your provision, your wisdom for my life, everything about you today when any sliver of a thought of abandonment or victimization start.

Yesterday, you gave me a visual of an open door. Today you give me the visual of my favorite flower, rising above abandonment and victimization.    

Action:

I will focus on the tender care and love that you poured over me through the emergency, so that I can see this very moment, free of abandonment and victimization. I will focus on that today, repeatedly, minimum of 7 perfect times.

May ALL of you be blessed with love of Christ,

Maribeth Baxter, MBEC (Certified Mind-Body Eating Coach)

Dig Deeper – Grow More

Do your own 21-Day Brain Detox, by Dr. Caroline Leaf, Christian neuroscientist.

Find out about Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specializing in Neuropsychology. … She frequently lectures to both Christian and secular audiences worldwide, linking scientific principles of the brain to spiritual, intellectual and emotional issues in simple and practical … Dr. Caroline Leaf

75% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about affects us physically and emotionally. It’s an epidemic of toxic emotions. The average person has over 30,000 thoughts a day. Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness; we make … Dr. Caroline Leaf