Day 17: Happy Mother’s Day…

Yep, I really did skip a day. Physically and emotionally it was too much so I skipped a day. During that 24 hours, I practiced my toxic thought exercises more than 7 times. Better to skip a day and pick up where I left off than to expect progress that cannot be forced.

Sometimes God himself does this for me. Occasionally I get to plowing through something instead of taking in all that he has to offer. Then it becomes too much and I am forced to slow down. I am learning that he loves me enough to slow me down in my tracks.

My heart gave out twice last night. The terror in waking up to that knocks sense into me. Slow down, there IS a reason whether I can see it or not.

That does not mean God ever tells me to skip renewing my mind for a day. Instead he makes it clear to write scripture on our foreheads and review it daily. Let it sink in deeply daily.

“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.” ~ Deuteronomy 11:18 NIV

 

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”  ~ Romans 12:2 NLT

Day 17: 13 May 2018

Introduction: Thanksgiving, Praise and Worship exercise

This is so cool, there are NO words to this one.

SONG: The Best of Mozart

Lord, you are awesome. You know when my brain and emotions are full to the limit. You know when I need to be settled, sorted, calmed and given a dose of your peace. You know that, for me, sometimes that means the scientific wonder of what classical music does inside of my mind to sort and settle. Add words to days like this and it does not allow your grace and mercy to reach my soul. I still have words today but they are only coming as I allow you to settle my brain and emotions through your amazing work through Mozart.

God, you created Mozart. You knew his journey with his disease that allowed a very specific path of creativity to pour out of him at a level which so few humans can know. Yet, Mozart’s creations are still amongst us to enjoy and gain the scientific wonders from.

Through certain diseases you allow our brains to work differently. The world cannot understand that but I find it fascinating. When I stop judging people, get out of the way and allow myself to see you in these unusual circumstances, I can hear you more clearly.

Syphilis is what Mozart had, technically. Syphilis is closely related to Lyme Disease. I cannot begin to claim that I know the workings inside of Mozart’s brain and heart. What I can know is that Dr. Klinghardt (top-dog Lyme Disease expert) claims that Mozart most likely did not have Syphilis but Lyme Disease. This is not open for a debate = makes no difference what the disease was.

As you know, Lord, my point is that you allow disease in people. You allow some of those diseases to manifest in the brains of certain individuals that create wonders beyond human comprehension. Mozart surely had it rough in his time with this disease that opened a path in his brain to allow your creativity and genius to flow through.

I was not blessed with that genius. I have no musical ability. I have never been able to clap my hands and sing a song at the same time. I took guitar lessons for a lengthy period of time and never graduated from the first lesson. There is nothing musical about me. But my brain sure does work differently than many. I am no genius on ANY level.

My brain so clearly works differently than many. Not better, not worse, just different. God Almighty, may I feel blessed by that. May I disregard the world and their thoughts on the subject. You are all that matter. You have created me exactly how you intended. You even allowed the Lyme disease to alter my brain after birth. I don’t want to be like others, I want to be the me that you have intended all along.

Step 1: Gather

Today is Mother’s Day. One of my all-time favorite days. This makes no sense to the world, but it makes all the sense to me and you, Lord. I have the opportunity to celebrate regardless of others. And celebrate we will…

I celebrate that my body, riddled with untreated life-long debilitating diseases, was able to give birth to three beautiful precious children. Only you can bring children into this world, created specifically by you. And that you did, three treasures beyond belief. My physical body had challenges through it, but you intended for them to be here, for your specific plan for their lives. You created them, you allowed my body to give birth to them and they are on planet earth, living in and of this world. The one that did not survive is in your hands, your eternal playground.

Not only did you allow the births to happen, but you have allowed me to parent them. Two through single-parenthood for 13 years and one as an adult for 10ish years. That is truly remarkable in itself. You gave the four of us that incredible opportunity.

You allowed my health to stabilize enough for me to be a single parent for a very long time. You allowed me to have the joy of all of those years and watching those precious children grow up. The joy of those years has truly overflowed my cup. It can never be taken away or forgotten.

You allowed me to meet and participate in an adult relationship with my first child that I never thought I would ever see in my lifetime. You healed some of my wounds from that and you introduced me to a beautiful young lady that invited me into her life for many years.

What those three kids got out of a relationship with me is beyond my comprehension right now.  As a mother, they heard of you through my words and actions. Nope, not every word and certainly not every action.

According to one of my children, one of the three greatest complaints was that I put Jesus into everything. Whaahooo, keep on complaining!!!

At least I got that right. I could not be more at peace with my mothering as I am today. I have loved my children to the depths of my soul. I have shown them a love that they will never see in another human, it is uniquely mine and theirs. Lord, only from you did I have that kind of love to give them.

There is a time to “prodigal son” these issues and there is a time to rejoice in the mothering you allowed and move on. Here with open arms and ready to party and feast on the fattened calf any time.  Until then, move through and move on.

Thank you for the sweet peace in my mothering today.

Step 2: Focused Reflection

I cannot reveal to the public the details of Dr. Caroline Leaf’s 21-Day Brain Detox (if you want the details, pay the $29 for her detailed scripture-based 21-Day Brain Detox).

What I can say is that as I start writing daily, (before I read daily instructions on the 21-Day Brain Detox) I am amazed at the correlation between cognitive neuroscience, scripture and where my mind and brain are actually going in real life. It matches, every day, every time. Plum fascinating. 

Today, I have gained more peace about my mothering, and the ensuing abandonment, than ever. It has been painful and humbling to work through this publicly, but it has been an experience of eternal value.

While on this 21-Day Brain Detox experience, I have so carefully been taken on a journey of bringing my faith into my mind, into my thoughts, for this specific toxic thought. Wow, this I never expected to this degree. And I am only on day 17 of 21 for this one toxic thought.

Truth, through scripture, is flowing through me. Maybe only a drop at a time, but it is flowing. Instead of it getting blocked by calcification, the hardness of this world, the miracles inside of me are flowing. Hence, the emergency and saving of my life on 13 April 2018. It was time to unstick the stuck!!!

I know to the depths of my being that all is well, in Christ, through Christ and completely because of Christ. Thank you for your sweet tender patience with me, Lord. Oh how you must love me.

What is my mind understanding, that my spirit already knows?

Mothers, for the most part, give their all, the very best they have for their children. Whether that is good enough for anyone else does not matter. Mothers are created to nurture and love their children, to sacrifice everything for them, one way or another. I know that through and through. Scripture reveals this God given nurturing ability, it also reveals the trouble of life in this world.        

Lord, you have brought scripture into my world, so that it could sink into my soul, so that it could finally penetrate my thoughts. I was and am more than enough as a mother, end of story. You signed, sealed and delivered on that one.

“Then the angel showed me a river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb.” ~ Revelation 22:1 NLT

Step 3: Journal

What toxic thoughts remain: But this… But that… Except this… Except that… Complete nonsense of this world. It is not justified in scripture whatsoever.

Step 4: Revisit

Holy Spirit, what are you wanting me to see and hear? Just that, SEE and HEAR through the eyes and ears and mind of Jesus, not of man. The actions of others do not match scripture whatsoever, so that is that until that changes. That is not my deal, that is between you and all of them.

I need to focus on how you are speaking to me. I need to focus on how you see me. I need to focus on what you have intended for my life. Not these toxic thoughts that keep me from hearing, seeing and living out your will for my life.

Step 5: Active Reach

Decision:  

As I am grounded in you Lord, let my thoughts match scripture through and through. I can celebrate my mothering through and through. Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate such and that we will do. I can choose to celebrate the exact path you have me on. I have very little desire to see down the road.

 Action:

Celebrate my mothering. Don’t be prideful but take pride in a job well done. That experience was God given in every way. Visualize this celebration at least 7 times today.

May ALL of you be blessed on Mother’s Day,

Maribeth Baxter, MBNC (Certified Mind-Body Nourishment Coach)

Do your own 21-Day Brain Detox, by Dr. Caroline Leaf, Christian neuroscientist. One year subscription is only $29. You can do the 21-Day Brain Detox as many times as you want during that year. She basically is giving this away!!

Find out about Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specializing in Neuropsychology. … She frequently lectures to both Christian and secular audiences worldwide, linking scientific principles of the brain to spiritual, intellectual and emotional issues in simple and practical … Dr. Caroline Leaf

75% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about affects us physically and emotionally. It’s an epidemic of toxic emotions. The average person has over 30,000 thoughts a day. Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness; we make … Dr. Caroline Leaf